Inspirational South Park Quotes

God

“Maybe you should ask the Lord for guidance.”

  1. -Kyle, 107


“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Sometimes the giveth seems a little disproportionate to the taketh. There seems to be a lot more takething going on, but there it is.”

  1. -Father Maxi, 302


“Just because God doesn't answer your prayers doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.”

  1. -Jesus, 316


“God can't just answer every prayer and suddenly give you everything you want. That takes all the living out of life.”

  1. -Jesus, 316


“The Lord just doesn't send everybody to Hell. That wouldn't make sense. He wants people to live their lives.”

  1. -Sister Anne, 411


“God doesn't want you to spend all your time being afraid of hell, or praising His name. God wants you to spend your time helping others, and living a good, happy life. That's how you live for Him.”

  1. -Jesus, 411


“All my life I was raised to believe in Jehovah - to believe that we should all behave a certain way and good things will come tu us. I make mistakes, but every week I try to better myself. I'm always saying, ‘You know, I learned something today.’ and what does this so-called God give me in return? A hemorrhoid. He doesn't make sense!”

  1. -Kyle, 506


Chef: Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand.

Stan: But then, why does God give us anything to start with?

Chef: Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then it would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.

  1. -513


“It is sometimes hard, in times like these, to understand God's way. Why would he allow nine innocent people to be run down in the prime of their lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps, shouldn't be driving? It is then that we must understand, God's sense of humor is very different from our own. He does not laugh at the simple ‘man walks into a bar’ joke. No, God needs complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me. All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.”

- Father Maxi, 710

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